i can see and be amazed by the beauty while in the midst of light, and it makes me wonder. is the beauty still there, even when the darkness is prohibiting me from percieving it? does such beauty also exists in the darkness? it must be so. it’s just a matter of letting your eyes adjust. or is it your heart? do i really look at the world through my eyes? sometimes i feel like i percieve it all through the lens of my soul, the frame of my memories, my previously formed opinions and apprehensions. in reality, you never truly look at something merely through your eyes. what i mean is, your eyes allow you to SEE it, but it is your heart that takes that image and gives it your own meaning. and so perhaps it is merely a matter of ignoring what it is that you see, because in the darkness sometimes you CAN’T see. You can’t rely on the vision your eyes provide you with, so you must instead see with your heart, feel the beauty, even when it is disguised.
my thoughts, my intentions, and my dreams are never aligned with my actions. my mind is a confused web, i am constantly running about, trying to hold my web together, but as hard as i try, as long as i try to grasp onto those threads, to keep it simple and pure and honest in the end i merely spin it more and more out of control. and then i begin latch on to different people, and somehow they become entangled as well. and we’re all just a mess, trying to fix each other and to tear these walls down but what if there’s nothing behind those walls. what if the reason those walls are so strong, so sturdy, and so impenetrable is not because what is behind them is beautiful and vulnerable and needs protection. what if those walls are there in order to keep the world from noticing that there’s nothing beneath the surface. just a bunch of good intentions.
to be positive when the negatives are far too distracting. far too loud. the good things tend to just slight right through the cracks. and these cracks are wider everyday. pretty soon i just might fall through.
she ran along down the trail. her joy and wonder illuminating her youthful face. laughter bubbled up inside of her, and as she caught one single snowflake in her mittened hand, her giggles burst forth, almost as forceful as the river that had carved the canyon that lie below.
she threw her cares to the wind. she let them be drawn from her as a fisherman draws a fish in from the water. her worries were carried away, deep, deep, deep into the canyon. never had she felt so loved, never had she felt so comforted and free. she danced along the ridge. she floated with the snowflakes. she giggled with he birds. and all he while he held her close.
he took joy in her freedom.
he became the smile that graced her lips.
he kept her warm like no scarf could.
he held her hand,
and together they danced into eternity.
— written by me after a trip to the grand canyon a few years ago.