reading the great divorce and wondering why things have to be so complicated and jumbled and why my mind can’t keep anything straight and my body won’t listen to me. i just want everything to be simple again, life is making me dizzy, and with every new thing that is added and piled into the boxes that are consuming my room, i feel my identity, my familiarity, and my anchor in this world, this ocean of troubling waters, tear loose. it’s coming up from the ground, my roots are being torn and broken like the great tree that crashed near our campsite and woke us up at 4 in the morning, and there’s nothing i can do about it, there’s not even anyone to hear me fall. no one that really cares about my desperate mad rush for safety. because there is no safety. after this it’s just me vs the world. i wonder who’s gonna win.
and i haven’t even moved yet.